Hidden Power 2

Reflection

     "We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts, we make our world."

                                                                                                                                          Buddha.

I like to take time to reflect in life, on my actions and words. The only way I can change and evolve is by reflecting on my behaviour and attitudes. Sometimes the society and people that go through our life have a negative way of being, of acting and are harsh and cruel with words without thinking or caring how much they can hurt us. And for years, I was surrounded by very negative and harsh people that put me down in so many ways. With constant negativity, I lost my grace and sweetness that I once had. I realised I had become unhappy and bitter. I wasn't happy with myself because that wasn't the person I really am. I wanted to become graceful and happy again, I wanted to enjoy life like I used to. 

I tried to act gracefully but my heart was cold, and I realised that my behaviour had turned into a habit, and you can't get rid of habits just by a decision - it requires time and practice, and most of all a lot of reflection.

I began working on myself and admitting in what I needed to change. I was humble enough to admit my failures and to know that my actions and reactions were unconscious, and were the result of much suffering and of holding it in. So, I took it easy on myself, and every time I failed I would immediately realise it. I would forgive myself first, admit that I am a human being in the process of transformation, and then remind myself to next time do better. 

When a person, for some reason would upset me, there were moments that I felt so angry at their attitude that at the time I refused to forgive. At that moment it felt right to feel this way but when I held the grudge for long I would realise that I was harming myself and stopping me from enjoying the precious moments in life. I would reflect on my attitude and decide to give them the right to fail as human beings too. When I noticed that some people would be intentionally and continuously cruel I would forgive them, to myself, and decide to move them away from my life.

I kept reflecting and affirming that I am kind, I am gentle, I am graceful, I am friendly. I knew I could be better than I was. I knew that I was born to love and live in harmony with myself and everyone. I wanted to be in peace and smile more. Slowly I started feeling compassion and appreciation for the good things in life. I still have habits that I want to overcome, but I can tell you that I am wayyyy closer to my goal than I was before! 

Buddha's quote is just right: "We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts, we make our world." I make my world, I build myself up and I create my life!